Romantic relationships are the only ones worth celebrating. Doesn’t it feel like that sometimes? 

Sometimes it seems like everyone is just waiting for their life to start when they have a ring on their finger, but friend, please hear me say that is wrong. That thinking is flawed. 

In his book, 7 Myths about Singleness, Sam Allberry highlights the common beliefs that singleness means no intimacy and no family. Allberry speaks from his personal experience of deep, intimate connections and family ties that contradict this myth. But how many times do we force ourselves into living these myths? I know I have found myself there, believing that I am alone because I am not married. And, that I have no relationships worth celebrating on February 14th. 

I don’t know about you, but I want to redeem my relationship with Valentine’s Day. I want to celebrate. Because there are so many people I love–who love me well. So, what if we reframed the way we think about love? What if we challenged the narrative that we can only celebrate romantic love? What if we pushed back and dared to celebrate? 

Jesus loved His friends. John even called himself “the one whom Jesus loved.” We see Jesus moved with love in several instances. There are so many examples throughout the gospels of Jesus’ tangible love for people. But perhaps the most clear is when Jesus states: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:12-13, ESV). 

Did you catch that? Not for “his wife” or for “his mom”… but for his friend. Is it honorable to sacrifice some things for your spouse? Yes. Is there a beautiful, sacrificial love between a mother and child? Absolutely. But there is something beautiful and even holy about friendship. 

And of course, I will be the first to admit that romantic relationships are different than friendships. But someone wise recently told me that “different doesn’t mean less.” So, if different doesn’t mean less, maybe we can (or even should) celebrate our platonic relationships with the same emphasis we celebrate romance.

So, what if we expanded our definition and included all loving relationships into Valentine’s day? Friends, parents, co-workers, mentors, childhood best friends, long-term partners, roommates, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés. What if we all celebrated? What if we celebrated the people in our lives who love us well? Relationships where we feel like we belong. The relationships that feed our souls. That give us space to breathe and bring our truest selves to the table. I think those are really the kinds of relationships we should be celebrating. And yes, I hope that is the love you have with your spouse. I really do. But I also hope you have felt that with a friend. And with a family member. It is a core human need to be accepted, to belong. And that need can be met in any healthy relationship dynamic. 

When rom-coms, love songs, date nights, and hook-up culture seem so pervasive, how can we celebrate other types of love? What could that look like for you? How can you honor those people in your life? How can you hold space for that? 

Here is my challenge to you: 

1. 1. Take a moment to identify the relationships and people in your life where you feel safe. Where you feel like you can be your authentic self. Where you feel seen, known, and accepted. 
   2. Express that to them in whatever way feels most authentic to you. Maybe it’s in your love language; maybe it’s in theirs. Maybe it’s a way that honors a special memory or the season of life you are both in. 

Here are some practical ways to honor the love and belonging you have found in any type of relationship this Valentine’s day: 

• • Call a friend. 
  • Send someone a card or write a letter. 
  • Journal about how that relationship has impacted you for the better. 
  • Have your friends over for dinner – or plan a great date night for your significant other. 
  • Buy someone flowers. Heck, buy yourself flowers. (I mean, come on Miley.) 
  • Buy someone a meaningful gift. 
  • Go down memory lane in your photo albums. 
  • Visit a friend–or make plans to. 
  • Spend time with your parents or siblings. 
  • Share your feelings with a safe person. 
  • Hug someone tight or hold their hand. 
  • Anything that feels like celebrating to you and your person. 

Love deserves to be celebrated, even non-romantic love. Jesus celebrated it, and so can you. May this be the Valentine’s Day when you begin to celebrate all the love in your life.