I have the privilege of listening to people’s stories.

Grand stories of triumph.  Hard stories of shame and fear.  Hopeless stories of anger and despair.

What most of these stories have in common are feelings that shake a person to their core.  Sitting in my office, these storytellers hope that I can help resolve their dilemma and eliminate their emotional pain. Simply put, their goal is to feel better and never feel bad again.

The motivation behind this goal is pretty simple; no one likes to feel bad.  No one wants to wake up and feel depressed, angry, panicked, or afraid.

But, more often than not, personal theologies about emotions are the true reason “negative” emotions are to be avoided.  Rarely does one come out and intentionally bullet point this theology.  No one is actually saying emotions are bad, emotions are sinful.  (Well, I’m sure there is someone somewhere saying this, but you get the gist.)  Yet, so often, I find people imprisoned by this belief.  Rooted deep in their soul they have grown to accept that “negative” emotions are bad.  Taken a step further, many people conclude “because I feel bad, I am bad.” Therefore, the seemingly logical thing to do is to get rid of the bad emotion.

This is a lie.  And, one we need to stop spreading in our churches.

The reality is this lie exists in secular culture too.  While secular culture doesn’t call it sin, the motivation is the same.  Eliminate the negative feeling.

Sure, the goal of feeling better is good and helpful.  When we feel better we’re usually better people.  We love better.  We do better.

But, maybe the goal is bigger than just feeling better.  Maybe the goal is to expose the lies, which impact how we feel, in order to uncover the truth in every area of our lives.  Doing so might reveal the reason we find it hard to “rejoice always.” So, instead of faking joy, being honest about our anger, sadness, and fear might actually be life-giving and lead us to the Life-Giver.

Maybe viewing emotions as helpful, even if they are intensely painful, is the beginning of understanding what to actually do with them.